I have been asked to point out that this is a SPOOF blog. The content of this blog is a work of total fiction (a bit like the real Graham Badman's Report into Elective Home Education).
I am NOT the real Graham Badman, for which my wife is eternally grateful. The views and opinions expressed in this blog are satire only and unlikely to be the views and opinions of the real Graham Badman. I'm sure Mr Badman's heart is in the right place and on a personal level I bear him no animosity whatsoever. I am simply exercising my right to strongly disagree with his views on education and his decision to sport a goattee beard.
Photographs of Mr Badman featured on this site have been altered for comedic purposes and no attempt is made to claim they are representative (for example the photograph depicting Mr Badman up a ladder shows him in a green T shirt. This is probably unrealistic).
No offence is intended to the real Graham Badman's cat.
No apology is offered to Ed Balls (what a pillock!) There is a story going around Westminster that he asked one of his colleagues for 10p because he wanted to phone a friend. The colleague gave him 20p and told him to call them both!
Old Mr Mort would like me to point out that Old Mrs Mort does not wear surgical support stockings in public and the use of the aforementioned legwear is restricted to recreational pursuit only.
No guinea pig was harmed in the making of this blog.